I wrote about pruning a week-ish ago, and my mind has returned to the topic today. Among my several “hats,” I am the president of a nonprofit organization devoted to… gardening! We promote (and build) community gardens and educate people in the county about gardening. I have experienced a “meteoric rise” (definitely tongue-in-cheek) from lowly volunteer less than a year ago to this esteemed position.

Requested, nominated, and voted in by the other board members. Full of visions of possibility. Enthusiastic, energetic, taking action. Only to encounter “we-want-things-to-stay-the-same”-ness. Not in words, in (re)actions.

What started out as energizing has receded to anxiety, frustration and anger.

I have been reflecting, trying to decipher the reasons I am encountering this resistance, and trying to identify what I am doing that is causing fellow board members to reject my ideas. I have working theories, and have bounced them off another board member whom I trust, who is empathetic and non-judgmental. His analysis is similar to mine, so I feel less crazy.

So, this gig is one I quite possibly must prune. If so, I will have mixed emotions, part relief, part “aaagh!” I am thankful that there will not be any sense of guilt. I have been honest, transparent, solicited feedback, invited dissenting viewpoints, done everything I can think of to build unity.

If we are not in alignment, I cannot change that. And will take my vision elsewhere.