The prompt for today was about “core memories,” and many people posted delightful, positive memories. I have some of those too, but what came most strongly to mind were the hurts, the dysfunction I grew up with. I understand that my parents did the best they could with the tools they had. As an adult, I also know they love me, they just are extremely crippled in their ability to express it.

things that still hold me

being afraid to lie
being afraid to not lie
caution, secrecy
never reveal too much
the flush of shame
without even knowing why

trying harder to be loved
never succeeding
vowing to show my own children
an unconditional acceptance
and non-stop love